18 Janvier 2023 //

Je pense que c’est important de toujours se rappeler et préciser et affiner pourquoi on veut faire ce métier.
Pour ma part plus je le fais, plus c’est clair.

Plus c’est clair plus je me sens légitime,

et plus je me sens légitime, plus j’assume ce que je fais et et la façon dont je le fais.

Moins je me cache

Donc, plus je peux m’affirmer

Et plus je peux créer.

So Why ?

J’ai rédigé cette note en anglais, donc je la retranscrit ici en anglais.

Why ?

Pour le contexte : je regarde souvent des interviews d’acteurs et actrices qui m’inspirent, et on leur demande toujours à un moment pourquoi ils ont commencé ce métier   – et c’est hyper important d’ailleurs. Pas de le dire, mais de le savoir et le sentir depuis ses entrailles ce pourquoi. La flamme, elle vient de là et c’est grâce à ça que personne ne l’éteindra.  –  et je crois que – depuis longtemps – inconsciemment, j’ai commencé à me créer un pourquoi qui rentrait dans ce que la majorité disait. Une vraie fable, qui part d’une vérité certes de vouloir jouer mais complètement transformée et je m’en suis convaincue pour que ça devienne ma réalité. Or,

Je naviguais dans mes pensées, en me disant “oui pourquoi, oui, le jeu, oui, effectivement, mais blablabla, la fable de ce qui nous anime oui, blabla, oui, j’entends etcetera.
Mais si tu creuses un peu plus profond, y’a quoi ?

À un moment, faut plonger.

Retour à mes notes.

Au début,

At first, I didn’t want to act because I wanted to play.
I wanted to act to understand human mind.

I trick myslef about what was acting for me at the first times. But I realized I really had the necessity to do this job because I felt like an awkward weirdo who doesn’t know how to communicate with people. So I needed to learn.
And it still in process. And I love the process, always.

I didn’t know how to act in public and why I couldn’t do this or that. There was no free space anymore because I needed to act normal to be accepted but what is to be normal when you hide yourself ? Normal is everybody hiding but acting like they don’t and diminishing there gifts to enter some matrix of social norms nobody really understand but could do anything to get in.

Yeah, “Normal”.

Well where is the freaky thing then… ?

But anyway, we are human we want to behave in some ways. So I wanted to know how. I tried to understand why I wasn’t accepted by The Society and what attitude was outside the standards, why it is, and what was “thinking as The Group thougths” means how it is constructed to get in.

So I tried to understand strongly :

Why people think the way they think ? And I question myself about the mind process : Mine, Individuals & Mass.
How it is created ? What are the mecanisms of the thought ? Why this way of being insted of this one regards of this situation.
Why this is weird and this is not ? Why this person is powerful this one is not ? Why this person is confident this one is not ? What bring them there ? How ? Why ?

But isn’t an acting process ? So acting can be about that. So I want to do that for sure. Actively

So after that comes the pleasing game of playing on stage or in front of cameras.
Because it’s all about life, try to understand continually what is to play the game of life.
Gain experience, bring to the stage transform and act.
Characters appears you understand them because it’s you but it’s not at the same time.

This never stop, the game never end while you learn more about you, more about the world everyday curiosity is on process.

So it’s about the joy to create, all is about creation. This is the second step.

But this is why and what was interesting for me in acting first. To understand our behavior. And to create character from that.

Then you realise it’s never so far from you, and you is not so far from others and others are universality.

So we are all quite the same. Nothing to be ashmed of.

And now I could start a list of :
Then, if we are all more similar than different why this or why that happened ?

But there we have art, theater and cinema to talk about it in our way I could say.

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